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Why people choose to have a memorial service

Writer's picture: Debbie  Donnelly Funeral CelebrantDebbie Donnelly Funeral Celebrant



When a loved one dies, finding ways to honour and celebrate their life becomes an essential part of the grieving process. Traditional funerals are immediate and structured, memorial services can often provide a more flexible, personalised, and reflective way to gather, remember, and find comfort in shared memories. Here are some key reasons people may choose to have a memorial service rather than a funeral

Deceased wishes

Your loved one may have left specific instructions for an unattended cremation or burial.

Flexibility in Timing

Unlike traditional funerals, which are typically held within days of a person’s passing, a memorial service can be scheduled weeks or even months later. This flexibility allows family and friends to plan a meaningful event without the pressure of tight deadlines, ensuring everyone who wishes to attend has the time to make arrangements. This is particularly beneficial for loved ones who live far away or have demanding schedules.

Focus on Celebration

Memorial services mostly focus on celebrating the life and legacy of the deceased rather than the immediate sorrow of their passing. This can create a more uplifting atmosphere where stories, achievements, and cherished memories take centre stage. Many families use this opportunity to incorporate personal touches—photos, music, videos, or mementos—to make the event a true reflection of their loved one’s unique personality and impact.

Inclusive and Personalised Ceremonies

A memorial service can be tailored to suit the beliefs, values, and traditions of the deceased and their family. Whether it’s a religious, spiritual, or secular event, the format can be adapted to honour the individual in a way that feels authentic and inclusive. Families might choose to hold the service in a meaningful location, such as a favourite location, beach, restaurant, or community hall, adding another layer of personal connection.

Gathering for Healing

The loss of a loved one can leave a profound void, and a memorial service provides an opportunity for collective mourning and healing. It’s a chance for family and friends to come together, share their grief, and support one another. The communal aspect of a memorial service fosters a sense of solidarity, helping attendees feel less alone in their loss.

A Lasting Tribute

Many families choose to incorporate lasting tributes into memorial services, such as planting a tree, creating a memory book, or establishing a charitable fund in the loved one’s name. These acts of remembrance create enduring legacies that continue to honour the individual long after the service has ended.

Space for Closure

For those who were unable to say goodbye during the individual’s final moments, a memorial service provides an opportunity for closure. Through eulogies, rituals, and shared memories, attendees can express their emotions and say a heartfelt farewell, bringing a sense of peace and resolution.

Final Thoughts

Choosing a memorial service allows families to create a meaningful, personalised event that honours the life of a loved one while providing comfort and healing to those left behind. It’s a moment to come together, celebrate shared memories, and begin the journey toward acceptance and peace at a time when you have more space to breathe and plan your tribute.



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